Best Friend

Always when asked a guy, hey dude, who is your best friend? Most guys are unsure of the answer. Yet, guys would like to sound more knowledgeable, less pathetic and more polite when attempted to answer this million dollar question so that they won’t offend any of their friends who might think that he/she himself/herself is their best friends.

Girls, when asked the same question know their answers. However, girls too never want to offend anyone’s feelings. So depending on situations whether they will answer this question or not. But deep inside, they know their answers well.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that guys do not have best friends, just that, they’re confused about the definition of “best friend”, they can’t tell who exactly is their best friend. So, most commonly, guys will say, “Oo, everyone is friend! Why do we classify or categorize friends as good, better or best?”

Deep within, guys behind the common excuse are as lonely as clouds. Guys have a lot to worry about; their natures are to maintain macho, coolness, not easily affected by emotions, strong, tough, decisive and so on. Therefore, they’re not used to sharing their feeling or secret with friends as they all simultaneously agree that it is an un-macho (sissy) thing to do. Girls on the other hand often express their feeling or share their little secrets with friends.

Believe me, when we talk about our own “best friend”, he/she must a person of the same gender. There is no “best friend” between guy and girl. Even if there is, the probability for that to happen is 1/1000. By the way, guy and guy will never express their feeling for each other, if they do, they’ll be seen as gays. Guys will only share their most intimate secrets with their loved ones. (I might be wrong about this, guys like to tell lies actually) Girls on the other hand never hesitate to express feelings for each other; a simple “I miss you” or “I love you” is a phrase which you’ll always hear in conversations among the girls. If happened guys say so to their male buddies, it will sound really wrong. Girls are not encouraged to share your secrets with your guy friends. Why? Because guys are never really interested in what you’d like to say, they will probably look into your eyes while you talk, pretend to be listening, but their minds stray somewhere else. They’re probably thinking/imagining how nice you look when you put your “birthday suits” on.

Guys prefer strengthening friendship by doing the activities together, play sports, picnics, watch movies, go clubs, or whatever. Girls are different, they build up friendship by talking; sharing stories, secrets, they express their joys or sadness. They share shopping experience, they talk about their boyfriends, they gossip a lot, they tell each other what/how they feel about things. That is why some people say, girls would dump their boyfriends for their best friends.

Girls are more enthusiastic when comes to sharing their little stories or secrets with close friends. Unlike the guys, who will rather choose to keep secret forever as a secret than sharing it, speak less but accurate than speak a lot but never hit the point, cause they think “quantity” ≠ “quality”. If asked, “hey, what did you buy at One Utama today?” Most guys will answer like this, “erm, pants and shirts?.”. Girls will probably tell you this, “Oo God, I bought a white Gucci handbag, I love that so much, you know why…. Bla bla bla. I tell you what, I bought this bag with 50 ringgit cheaper le, etc. If we look at guys’ answer, no doubt it is short but actually very accurate and it is definitely the perfect answer for that question. Girls’ answer is long and “parts” of it are not relevant to that question but it is more interesting in a way. When you answer the way most girls do, conversation will not die easily. However, if you chat the way guys do, most of the time you will hear silence and conversation goes dead.

However, whether you agree or not, psychologists say that when people share their feelings/secrets with close friends, it can create a feeling of intimacy and therefore able to strengthen the bond among friends. Bonds that are strengthened by doing activities together are not as unbreakable and long-lasting compared to the effect of talking.

Guys can have a lot of friends, but they often couldn’t tell exactly who is their best friend. They can tell you who is their best basketball partner, they can tell who is their best movie partner, they can also tell who is their best gaming buddy…. But sadly, they’re still scratching their heads figuring who is their best friend.

Who is your best friend?