4 ALL TIME FAVOURITE SONG

1) I Don't Wanna Be - Gavin Degraw
2) What Makes You Different, Makes You Beautiful - Backstreet Boys
3) California King Bed - Rihanna
4) Monster - Paramore

These four songs have completely different meanings and genre but it's just so awesome. Although the first and second songs are not exactly the latest songs but even after listening to it for years, I still love them :P

What the future holds.

Hey Pangeelapongers. How's everyone doing? :)

I've been working in my mom's company for the summer and the programmes are all back to back. Pretty tiring but managing it well i guess :)It is a three days programme and i have to travel every week to different states; KL, PJ, Penang, Malacca, Genting, Seremban. I, together with two other colleagues and my mom have to go over to these places. And in these places, some days, some sessions, i have to emcee the programme, or lead the teambuilding. At first i was kinda scared and shy... But the participants were really nice and they were pretty encouraging when i was talking so after the first session, i was more comfortable talking for the rest of the programmes. Moreover, it's not like i am being rated. So okay la. :D

Time flies right? It seems like just yesterday I was wondering what to do for the summer and now It is already halfway through summer. There are certain things i wanted to do this summer but didnt manage to, such as going to Australia and Bandung cuz i didnt plan earlier and when the programme started, i barely have time for myself. And i've been missing my friends! 

Anyway, i'm now in Malacca, reached home from Penang yesterday evening and now im already in Malacca. Im here for some quality time with bro and dad. My sis and mom are in KL.

On the way here just now, my dad asked me when am i graduating and what's my plan after graduation. Honestly, i am not exactly sure of what i want to do after this. When i was a kid, choosing an ambition was really easy.

I remember my ideal dream job was to be a judge. I have a really stupid reason for wanting to be a judge. I grew up supporting my mom and going against my biological dad, so i told myself that when I'm a judge, im going to let all mothers win the custody of their children. And, apart from making stupid decisions, i wanted to be a judge to hit the gavel. :P

Of course as a kid, nothing stays forever including the things we like and what we wanna do. So, i changed my ambition from becoming a judge to becoming a firewoman. Why firewoman? Cuz firemen have this pole where they get to go down to the lower floor with the pole! U get what i mean?! If i could have one of those at home, it'll be sooo fun! :D 

Apart from that, i wanted to be a police cuz i think I'll make a good detective, finding out who's good or bad. Unfortunately, i had to let my dream of becoming a policewoman go cuz i am really bad at aiming. 

I also had some unrealistic dream jobs such as becoming a postwoman cuz i collected stamps as a hobby when i was younger. But no way ill ever be a postwoman. Doctor when i had a doctor toy set but im not smart enough to be a doctor :P and my family wouldnt agree anyway cuz of the long working hours. I think that's what children does.. Life is so easy and the world revolves around them and nothing else. Just like how i thought many years ago that if i'm not with that person, that person would just freeze and come back alive when i'm with them. I think that was the stupidest thing I can ever think of. Lol.

For now, i really dont know what i really wanna be. I wanna do something i like doing and earn money out of it. I really dont mind becoming a stewardess if my parents allow. But then again, i got my degree for something more than that :P So i guess i have to look for a job that really suits my characteristics and still able to earn? Hmm lol who wouldnt want a job like that right? One last year for me to think about this before graduation :)

The Devilish Note

When i was younger, i knew what gift/s got bestowed on me. I was thankful for one and was equally curious about the second one. You see, the second gift god gave me was the ability to talk. ..... alot. In fact, i hate report card day because i know at the bottom of the page, there is a small note which states

Kenneth seorang pelajar yang bijak. Dia juga seorang pelajar yang sentiasa ceria. Tetapi terlampau banyak cakap. Sila ambil perhatian.

Translated:

Kenneth is a bright student. He is also a fun and cheerful child. However, there seems to be a lack of oral plug which can stop him from talking too much. Kindly invest in one.

When i was younger, i dread for this day as my parents will continuously nag, scold, remind me that i talk alot. I usually wonder, do i really talk that much or it was just a figment of imagination of my teacher/ teachers. I only talk during recess. and moral studies, and during language classes, and sometimes during maths and sciences class. I know i never talk in history class. I was too busy falling asleep. Yet, this gift was meant for greater things. I hoped.

Now looking back, i see that most employers are looking for people who are able to communicate well, both written and verbal. Well, most people are trained to write since they were toddlers. However, the skill of communication needs to be well honed either by talking to friends or strangers. It is a mastery of both the brain and tongue. The sharper your tongue, the more efficient information gets through.

Advertisers are now looking for more effective methods to pass on a message besides written signage beside the road. Here is an example, do you pay more attention on the billboards or on your speedometer when you are speeding down the highway. Interestingly, most people look forward to know how much they have clocked in on their mileage rather than looking at the passing boards.

However, most companies are investing in information networkers to pass on the message. You see this alot in malls, gas stations and other heavily congested areas. Because it is easier to listen than to read and memorize in a short period of time.

Moral of the story, talk more, listen more. Earn more! XD

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Now playing: Stereo Love (Edward Maya ft Alicia)

Gherao (The Finality)

This post was postponed for a few months due to lack of inspiration and commitments. ;P

On the horizon, a group of native aborigines was circling what appears to be a thin man sprawled on the ground. The natives were masked but they circled the accused with authority. There were no sticks brandished but their eyes mark with such intensity that the grounded one was not able to prop even his arms up. Dust were kicked up, such that it gives the crowd a light layer of protection from the baking rays of Ra.

It would have been honor and glory if the plans were made right. Such burden as too great for a man but he was the One. He was presented the golden seal from the Oracle. The All-seeing. Definitely they had seen something in him to present him with such authority. A plan that would mark this town as the next Athens. The stakes were high but he he was game. What is life without stakes. It would be like playing poker with the blind.

Fate however hid the aces. The town people was not supportive of the idea. That would bring destruction, one elder shouted. That is against our believe, our culture, another yelled. Yet he would not listen. We have what they need, his hand waved towards the lush surrounding. They promised to take just a part for their needs. One year, one year and everything will be fine. If only he had knew that the Oracle wanted him to save the town. If only.

The barren land was now a habitat for scavengers. Lifeforms disappeared as water frizzled into nothingness. It was dusty and thirsty for the man. He was not the One anymore. His eyes were wild. Sanity was driven out of him by scorching rays. He needs space. He needs air. Beyond the circling crowd was freedom. So sweet the smell.

He lost his judgement. With one frantic look, he dashes out from the encircling. Without warning, a hail of stones and pebbles rained down on him without mercy. No, mercy was gone with the purity of the land. He was stoned alive. Blinded and broken, he tried to run. To move. The torrent of gravel seems like an eternity. Battered he lay there.

Vultures swarmed down, claiming their reward on a broken soul.

Summer Post-Mortem

Qhen we are a child, we use to wonder what is our priorities in life. Life back then used to be homework and games with the usual test or assessment. Nothing else matters back then. We have friends and company. Money was not an issue as parents are there to fund us. As we grow, our materialistic behavior grows as well. We are exposed to media advertising which subjugate us into thinking material that we want as needs.

Our perspective towards our surrounding and society changes. When we are child, we care more about the environment. This behavior mutates as we grow older. We no longer care about the precarious and fragility of the nature to sate our hunger for money. We see the consequences in plenty of uncontrolled forest burning in Indonesia. Forest burning reduces waste disposition cost as well as the cost of purchasing fertilizer.

Our perception on society changes. Everything is a crazy rat race to the top. Our vision on society status is based on the monetary part rather than their sincere personalities. You might be thinking oh no i am not as superficial as you think I am but i can tell you, there are inkling that this happens. Especially in urban areas where money is what makes the world spins.

Peace is no longer about equality but more on who has the bigger stick than the other person (quote Ironman). Help is given when a reward is expected. A person may have a thousand friends but he /she would not know whether there is a knife behind their back.

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Now playing: Thinking of Me (Olly Murs)

Don't hold back.

I figured out that i am old since i crossed the 21 threshold. Yea, that is the limit guys, not some fabled 25 or 30 as the cut off line. I learnt that my patience level grew lower when my age heightens.

I do get pissed off and get a little quirky at small things. Usually, these things don't go my way either. However what i would like to say is that we are right to feel angry and pissed. It is human nature and instinct. What I would suggest is not to hold back your feelings but do let others know what you are feeling so they can either 1) help you get back on your feet or 2) stay away from you to avoid further pissation. Just saying.

Uh my summer days are mundane as i filled my twilight nights with reruns of movies and chocolates. Yea i get what it means being a couch potato. Lethargy washes over you like a tide of procrastination. I just got a set of 6 books at a good price of 30 bucks. It is an array of books ranging from water technology to marketing strategies. It was a good buy considering one book costs around 5 bucks.

Now i spend my time browsing through some of the books. Hahahaha, kind of like a consolation that i am doing something productive :)

How is your summer going on?

Back to the Blogosphere (Bersih 2.0 9th July 2011)

Sometimes, i wonder why i seldom blog. Maybe it is due to my laziness. Maybe it is the inspiration. Or maybe it is my it is my inability to come up with a cool blog title.

It has been near to months into summer and i am still kinda in a haze on what is going on. I know things are happening around me but i seem to shrug them off my shoulders. Today, I would like to highlight on Bersih 2.0 which took place on the 9th of July 2011. Well, GLC newspapers such as the News Straits Time (NST) kindly reminded the public that it was clearly a sham event. The newspapers portrayed the masses of protestants during the event as barbarians.

Naturally, each protest has their cause. Who would dedicate time and money on something if they do not worth anything. So Bersih 2.0 is here to start a peaceful rally for a better, more just election. Is there anything wrong?

So what the government thought was that this rally might "educate" the public on the tyranny which is happening as we speak. Well, only a retard or a child might not know this but the general public of Malaysia do know what is going on.

Although I personally think that bringing a rally down the road isn't a really good idea, but what choices does Dr Ambiga has? Yes the Gov suggested that she can organize the event/ rally in a stadium. And yes she can apply for a licence to do the rally in the stadium. But FYI, MOST STADIUMS are owned by the Gov. And the in the end, the "stadiums" rejected her application.

Yes the Dr Ambiga played all her cards, but the Gov holds the ace/aces.

Next, media played their cards. By effective spreading of rumors and news, the peaceful event turned into a horrific war with tear gases and water cannon. Well how did it happened? Easy, the Gov feed GLC media board with misled information and loads of cash. I would like to highlight in particular the NST did a particular good job in superimposing a fake picture of a dude (so called Bersih supporter) throwing what appeared to be a homemade bomb to the Federal Reserve Unit (FRU). This picture appeared as the front cover of the paper on 10th July 2011 (Date is vague, i forgotten). Come on, child ply much?

Everywhere around the globe, protests and rallies do happen. Only in China and Malaysia, rallies are purposed as something that we should not do. I do understand that China is a communist country. Freedom of voicing out your opinions are not exactly legal. But in Malaysia, we do practice this thing called the Monarchy Democracy similar to that in England. Yea we do have our King. But by democracy we also have the freedom to voice out what is right. Since the government did not provide us with the right media to feed our opinions, yea i agree now that we should bring it to the streets.

With corrupted medias, the public voices are stifled by the masses of rubbish the gov feed to us daily. Do you believe what you read on the paper or do you filter out the truth yourselves. Stand up for what you believe in although the others might nudge you to do otherwise. It is you, your voice your country. You decide.

___________________________________________________________________

Now playing: Flash Delirium (MGMT)

Day Trip

Last thursday has got to be one of the most happening days since I got to the states.

Made a trip downtown LA in Hollywood, then Santa Monica. The total travel time was

about nearly 6 hours with about one hour to Hollywood and about 2 hours to Santa
Monica from Hollywood. All of this include waiting for bus and train. Despite the tiring
travel involved, it was truly worth the trip as we really saw AMERICA. What I see here
in my area is a barren desert with nothing to offer.

For the day I only had one travel companion with me but I have no complaints. She was
punctual, considerate and good listener/talker. We headed out early in the morning to
catch the bus. After arriving at the central bus station we bumped into a colleague who
was nice enough to direct us to our destination. To be honest, we were both very lost at
first and was not sure of our heading. But all I had to do was ask around. From the bus
driver, the old man at the bus stop, the security guard at the train station to the punk
with a scateboard by the sidewalk. All were nice enough go give me correct directions.
Anyways, our first destination was Hollywood. The first thing me and Candy realized
was that the scene was totally different from our area. The buildings were taller, the
people were well dressed, there were more cars and even the sky was different. But
within 60 seconds my money was stolen. Dont worry, it was only a dollar. You see, there
are people in costumes hanging around Hollywood ready to take pictures. Some guy
dressed as zorro "seduced" Candy into taking a pic with here. He did it all with a
hispanic accent.

Madamme mossel eh, do you wanna takeh the pichah wither me ah?

After we took the pic. We were about to walk off when he suddenly told me in normal
American accent. "Dude, we take tips for pictures". I gave him a dollar and walked off.
Haha, serves him right. Even a dollar was too much. Being in Hollywood was nostalgic
as Ive been there once with my family. It was good to see the place again, nothing has
changed.

Candy looking into the horizon looking for HK

After spending about 2 hours in Hollywood, we headed off to Santa Monica Pier, as you
can see from the picture above. The place was somewhat not what I expected. It was
infact better. There was something about it that made it kinda special. The scenery
was very vibrant. From the sidewalk towards the pier, I can hear tribal drums being
played by street performers, loud techno music played from topless cars and the sound
of wind whispering through my ear. There was a mini themepark on the pier hence the
ferris wheel. Seagulls were flying about, and the sound of people muffling the sound of
the tide bringing in the waves. I guess it kinda reminded me abit of Penang :(

The trip ended well and there was hardly any difficulty in our trip. Going out again
next thursday. Will upload more photos. :)

Important messages

Sometimes you know something, you know you are doing something right,
but if you don't tell /don't tell properly, people wouldn't know /wouldn't get it.

You don't expect people to understand if you don't convey your message properly.
Next thing is, again, don't assume that people will understand...

If you don't follow these rules, whatever that is gonna happen, you don't put the blame on others.

One very simple example that happened to me today explains what am I gonna tell in this post.

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I always plan my time. "Sometimes" when I've got lot work to do, I wouldn't wanna waste time unnecessarily when I could settle tasks in a more efficient way.

Yesterday afternoon, dad told me to go his office today (morning) to help him with some of his work, as usual.

I promised.

I was thinking to myself. Since my car is already time to service and since there is a workshop nearby my dad's company, I could settle things one shot; where I could help my dad, at the same time fix my period-red myvi.

This morning, I managed to wake up early and I thought things could go well as what I've planned, but suddenly my fat sister told me she was going for slimming. Worse still, she told me she had to take my car because her car ran out of petrol.

Me being a kind brother, told her nicely that I wanted to go for car service, but I DIDN'T mention about helping my dad (that was my first mistake).

So my sister's reply was, "Aiyo, my car no petrol la, you go service tomorrow only lar.."

I was like, well, sounds OK.. anyway she was in a rush for the slimming appointment.

After she went off, I thought, since I can't bring my car to service today and since dad didn't remind me about helping him (I quietly ASSUMED the task was not really urgent), so I thought it's ok to go tomorrow then... I planned this all in my heart and I "pictured" myself telling dad about this and he was okay with it.

My second mistake was I sort of assumed that his work can be delayed as well and third mistake was I sort of expected dad to understand that I don't have a car when I didn't even tell him..

So later on when dad came back in the evening, he was a little unhappy and he said, "told you to come this morning, yet you didn't come..."

I did not have a good answer to explain myself and so I re-think and analyse the whole scenario which led to this ending..

Just because I didn't inform my dad earlier about the incident this morning, he already assumed that I've forgotten about going to his office... but I can't blame him for assuming because I didn't tell, I don't expect him to know.

I can easily put the blame on my sister by saying "neh, jie took my carrr larr"
but I didn't, because it's not entirely her fault, it was mine also because I didn't tell her I have to go office to help my dad. So I can't expect her to know..

So moral of the story is, tell people what you wanna do, if the thing that you gonna do, involves others, directly, or indirectly.. so that people know what exactly you're doing.

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Another story which also explains my words:

Happened also on yesterday night,

my sister is just like me, maybe that's how our family do things, because my dad has the same bad habit as well, that is, "sometimes" we do things and we don't bother explaining or telling others.

So yesterday, she got an interview at a childcare nursery. Apparently, she simply applied on jobstreet last summer and they called her up few days ago for an interview. She was not interested to get the job at all but she wanted to go anyway.

She went at 4pm.. and she had no idea what time the interview was gonna end.

So around 7 - 8 pm, my mum and I were wondering where did she go, mum was saying that interview cannot be so long and doesn't really make sense that childcare nursery open until so late. Then my mum started calling her, but she didn't pick up, called many times and no one picked up....

My mum got quite worried, and I could understand, because recently there are really lots of bad news regarding security in Malaysia, such as 8 years old girl got raped in the toilet, a man attempted to rape a lady on a bus, acid splasher and so on...

I asked her boyfriend and her boyfriend wasn't sure where was my sister and he couldn't reach her as well, so mum got more worried.

Since we "roughly" know where is the "childcare center" (as my sister also roughly told me the location), we decided to go and look for her, and in the end we managed to spot the period-red myvi and we stopped and looked for her.

Apparently, that so called "childcare center" is not really a childcare center but more of an English literature tuition center for kids. My sister was still in there and she said her interview ends on 8:30pm. She was kinda shocked and slightly pissed of our "surprise visit".

I think/"assume"

Her first mistake was, she didn't tell me exactly where she will be going when I asked her.

Her second mistake was, she didn't tell clearly that it was an English literature tuition center but she told me it was a childcare nursery instead. Why is this message important and should be conveyed properly? because with common sense, we know childcare nurseries normally don't open until so late, since childcare service is meant for busy working parents, and 7 - 8 pm ? who works until 7 - 8 pm? hahaha

Her third mistake was, she didn't at least text us saying she might be home late and she didn't text us despite my mum's limitless phone calls.. until one point I "assumed" she turned off her phone because at one point my mum couldn't reach her already..

That's how important to deliver right and accurate messages.
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As we also know, many aircraft crashes that caused many deaths happened due to failure in communication or due to failure in conveying proper message between pilots, co-pilots and flying crews.

Why, because if your message is improper which doesn't explain/tell the exact meaning or instruction, no one will know the seriousness of things... and the result will be... bomb... and crash...

So, I hope this post does bring out the meaning of what I wanna share. This is as a reminder for myself and for our readers to refer.

*Don't assume...

Lonely Desert

It has been about a week since I got here and everything is fine. I guess. Things
could be better but whatever I have now will just have to do. This place is not as
great as I anticipated as we are so far away from everything. The only attraction
here is my workplace. But I wish to be elsewhere. Anyways the job is good but
the hours are just simply not enough to cover the cost for this trip. I had intended
to pay my parents back but now I can at most pay them back mostly 50% of
the cost unless I find a second job. Well, enough of the complaining, things are not
too bad here as well.

As you can see, the above is the picture of my ID taken while my friends in the
background were trying to make me laugh. The officer in charge somehow did not
have the need to retake the photo *damnit*. On the first day I was given normal
kitchen duties such as preparing churros and pretzels. I found the job extremely
easy and picked it up within minutes. They did not trust me with customers yet
and I was not allowed to speak to them. On the second day however it was a
completely different story. I was thrown into frontlines and put behind a cash register.
I had to go through it after 2 hours of pointless computer training using "simulations"
of the cash register. The training had not help a single bit and I basically relearnt
it through my supervisor.

After screw ups with about 5 customers I was finally getting the hang of it. I was
making fewer mistakes and doing stuff alot faster. This job was slightly more
difficult as I had to make the transaction and prepare the food which is funnel
cakes. Dont know what it is? Google it. Seems delicious at first but I got so used to
looking at it, it lost its appeal after preparing it the whole day. I have not tasted it
before but I dont intend to. I was kinda scared of being put into registry at first
because of the customers. But I found out that people here in general are mostly
patient and very understanding. At first I thought that I would be afraid of the
customer, I realized that the customer is as confused as me. They arent sure of
what is in the menu, and they are not sure what they want either lol. But when
I make mistakes they are mostly forgiving. Thats all for tonight. Goodnight :)

My childhood dilemma

Flash back when I was around standard 5 or 6, I was just a boy.

I wasn't sure whether I was undergoing puberty at that time, but I remembered some friends used to say I sounded like a sissy.

Seriously, I was quite affected. In my heart I wished I could grow up faster and turn into a real man. Sometimes I listened to my own voice, I recorded my own voice and played it back..., then couldn't help but curse myself for sounding like a toad.

You know sometimes, when you speak, what you heard of what you speak is different from what others would hear (slightly different, I guess?). For me I think it sounds totally different.

Today while I was doing some house chores, I listened carefully to my voice as I speak. And I still think what I heard of my voice today is somewhat the same as what I heard last time when I was still a boy.

The only difference is, nowadays people say I have a deep voice, which I don't really agree, because that's not exactly what I heard...

I am unsure whether anyone has the same problem as me? haha

Anyway I think I have grown up, though definition of a "man" is quite subjective and I can't really be sure whether I could be regarded as one, but yeah at least I don't sound like a toad anymore...

So It Begins..

Hey guys! Looked what I managed to cook up on my 2nd day in the states. Not bad eh?
Well one advice about cooking bacon, keep your SHIRT on. Having your nipples burnt by
splattering bacon oil is not a pleasant feeling. Regardless the reward at the end was worth
it. Scrambled eggs are easy job. I cooked this up at 5am due to the horrible jet lag Im
currently suffering from. I have been sleeping for about 10 hours lately. I sleep from
5pm to 12am. Its dinner then 2am to 5am. Really abnormal hours I know, but have been
progressively better at adjusting.

Currently nothing much has happened. Just had job orientation today, getting tremendous
amounts of paperwork done and got to see abit of the park grounds. I only saw a fraction of
it, but it looks awesome. The rides look scary but nonetheless Im tempted to try them all.
As for the place Im currently staying in, its not too bad. The room is quite small though
considering Im living with two bears hahaha. But standard of living is not too bad. There
are many department stalls such as Walmart nearby(srsly alot better than the one in
china =.=). Food here is not exactly very cheap, but its certainly affordable. Only junk
food here is put on discount, and might I say at very diabetically low prices lol.

Been doing nothing much for the past few days. Been walking around alot exploring our
surroundings, but there is nothing much to see. This place is almost like the Semenyih
equivalent of the states. Kind of empty with no big malls in sight, but definitely alot better
than Semenyih lol. There are facilities such as gym and cinemas which I have yet to find.
Glad to meet nice people at orientation today. Made quite a few friends. Hope to make
more tomorrow. Will update again soon. =)

Terminology

Throughout the journeys which I have partook in my life, I have come to
realize that my life changing journeys have always began, and in some cases
ended in airports. Whenever I walk into the Penang airport, certain familiar
feelings grip me as I go through usual airport procedures such as checks ins
and what not. Such as the feeling I first had when I was to study in my
secondary school in Seremban area. I didnt exactly flew there when I started,
but it was the time I had to fly alone there after a short holiday. I felt sad
that I had to leave home. I felt nervous as well as there were so many new
challenges and obstacles ahead of me. I had never been away from home
for so long. But it was a good experience for me as it had completely changed
my life for the better. I still remember the day I took a flight back to Penang
for good after finishing secondary school. I felt sad as I parted ways with a
good friend who dropped me off at the airport.

Not long after that, I was back in the airport flying off to enrole into Nottingham.
I didnt have the anxious feeling of being alone in the air as I did last time. But I did
however feel nervous of what lies ahead of me. Every semester is different with its
own ratio of sweetness and bitterness. Every time I took a flight at the beginning of
the semester, I felt excited and nervous at the same time of whats in store for me.
However, after the end of the semester I always fly away from this place with a heavy
heart. Despite the isolation of this place, I have made many good friends and have
lost some in the process as well.

Being in the airport also reminds me of times when I have to send friends off to pursue
their studies abroad. Friends leaving in a way is not a mark of a new journey in life, but a
continuity of the journey without them, which poses challenges as well. I dont have many
friends. Therefore which each one flying off is like a huge piece of me taken away. Times
can be so lonely and hard without them but feelings must be temporarily put aside for
adaptation and assimilation to take place. When friends fly off, I feel sad as well as it may
be the last time I see them as who they were. Overtime, friends usually change and it may
not always be for the good. Long absences make conversations awkward and short.

Tomorrow, I shall be heading to the airport once again. Another journey which may
potentially change who I am and hopefully shape me into a better person. The same nervous
feeling runs in my stomach as I type this post out. I cant help but be nervous and excited
at the same time of whats ahead of me. But as always, I leave with a heavy heart. It is hard
for me to leave my family and friends. But with my departure to another land will only
make me appreciate them more. Ill miss u guys. =(

oh btw, Ill diligently update the ongoings of my adventure here. yay :D

Iphone4 Games

During this exam period, I find myself pretty lifeless.. I go out less and I've been hanging On to my phone day and night doing nothing.

I enter into my facebook account, look around for interesting post, finds nothing interesting, exit from facebook.

Then I played with my "coin dozer", from 40 coins and no gifts all the way to 3000+ coins and complete set of gifts. Got bored of it, stop playing with it.

I complete the whole trial set for "cut the rope" with 3 stars for all. And there's nothing exciting about the game anymore once you've completed them all.

Then I moved on to "Katy Perry Revenge", played till i reach 100 percent for e.t. And firework, then stop playing.

Oh, then I played "we doodle" with a couple of friends that also have a smart phone. I draw and they guess and vice versa. Quite similar to "guess the scatch" from facebook actually.. Oh and now I guess all my friends are bored of it too. So everyone stopped playing with "we doodle".

And recently, ive been playing with I basket. It's actually a virtual basketball game. Quite addictive actually. Especially when someone beats your highscore. I started off with 4000 points and I thought that was very good already. Then one of my friend got 6000 plus and I wasnt satisfied with my score so I kept playing until I got 8000+ points. Satisfied much, until another friend got 9000+ points. Blehhh.. That suddenly made me more competitive than before! I played a couple more times, until! I got, 14100 points! Which is actually top 400 in the worldwide rank.. Hahah. Not bad ah.. But after I got that score, I stopped playing cuz no one else from my circle of friends beat my score yet. Hehe..

And today, I played with minesweeper through my iphone and managed to complete it, marking the right bomb spot in 53 second! That's actually an achievement cuz it's not easy to play minesweeper through iphone. Lol. Gotta scroll left and right, up and down.. I beat my own highscore of 57. Haha.

And i've decided to delete all my games. Cuz it's getting boring. It's a good way of stress relief and somehow such boring game becomes interesting when ure studying for exams.. Hmm.. I'm going to jailbreak my
Iphone soon. For more games..

Oh and I've been practising the guitar chords for Avril Lavigne "darlin'" and "everybody hurts". Listen to it. Someday ill play it for pangeelapongers :D

Okay, have fun reading my bragging post. I just feel like bragging out of a sudden.. And weee, i just blogged with my iphone. Too bad i cant upload pix through iphone4, cuz i have proves for my highscore. :p

:)

Untitled

Looking at Pangeelapong blog, suddenly I feel I really have strong affection towards it,

though not much updates lately...

Perhaps our readers might also have forgotten or stop reading it, partially because there is nothing much new..

But from time to time I'll still look back at the older posts and have a good laugh myself... there were so many interesting events/incidents happened in the past which, whenever you read back you feel stupid yet lively and glad that life actually brings us lots great memories. Sweet, sour, bitter.... Life is actually a good chef that makes our daily meal with all kinds of tastes... Like it or not, we have to eat to live.. :)

Anyway, today May 22, good weather out there, no judgement day, no nothing..
Many people might think... cheh, it's just another false prediction, screw it and I continue to live my life. They might think that all these doomsday shits are fake and tend to continue taking earth for granted.

I personally believe judgement day may come if humans continue exploiting the earth. One thing we must know that earth is not created just for us, human. Anyway, I just hope that the day doesn't come so soon..

Life is so imperfect yet beautiful, why waste time complaining about small little imperfect things in life when we can just easily laugh it off.. :DD

The Black Swan

Yesterday I had the strangest dream. I dreamt about my dream girl. I know, I know, how
cliche you say, but mind you she is a real breathing person with the ability to defecate just
like anyone else. LOL JK. Ironically, yesterday she was literally my dream girl. The strange
thing about this dream was that it felt real, it was so vivid and I could almost remember
every detail. Unlike most dreams which you view yourself in third person, mine was in
first person and it felt like I was just there.

It started out with us having lunch like we used to alot back then, we were smiling and
laughing as always. We started holding hands from across the table and Im not sure what
transpired, but within moments she was already in my arms. It felt so real, I have never
made much physical contact with her. I was thinking to myself within my dream, wow,
the girl that I have always longed for, the one, was finally in my arms. I felt that I was
never going to ever let go. It felt real, but deep down I know it was something that will
never happen, or atleast naively I wish it did. It was then I realised that I was dreaming.
I was lucid dreaming for awhile. Trying to savour the moment that never existed. I felt that
I didnt want to ever wake up. I just wanted to die in her arms...

When I woke, I was in a daze. It felt strange because most of my dreams are random, and
rarely ever made sense. This dream was so direct, so straight forward and so clear. For all
of you who would question my pervertism, I would like to say that in my dream we never
kissed nor did anything erotic. I was very close to this girl once, I guess I screwed things up.
She has someone of her own, but we are still friends :) Im not emo or anything, just wanna
share an interesting experience.

Darkness

During this exam period, I have come to realize alot of things I tend to take for
granted. It started with a chain of events, almost like a cycle. Well first off, I felt
that I did not fully utilize the time I had. The time table for this semester was
actually really great! I only had classes for 3 days a week and 4 days for assignments.
However, I felt that I did not spend them wisely. I spent most of those 4 days
fooling around and playing games. I didnt even take time to go out or socialize with
my friends much. When assignment period came, everything was in a snail's pace.
I barely even wrote a hundred words a day and I continued squandering my time.
I was very last minute and I did my assignments to the last hour; not something
I would do if it were last semester. I didnt even have time to proof read. I was
shocked with results I got, but of course Im appreciative.

When the exam period came(and still occuring currently), I wasted my time too.
Only two papers have passed and Im already filled with abit of regret. The thing
is that I waste my time during the day and study till late. However, lately there is
some electrical problem in my house. The electricity gets all fucked up at night and
the power trips frequently. This had been very counterproductive to my studies as
I had to walk in total darkness into the store room and turn the power back on only
to have it trip again in a few minutes. Because of this, I had to go to campus to study.
This led me to my second realization. I took my home for granted.

In campus, there is no proper place for me to study. What pisses me off is firstly the
temperature. The temperature is always at both extremes of the spectrum. Its either
to freaking cold or extremely warm. At home here, I just sit under the fan with a few
open windows letting the night air in and the temperature is perfect! Furthermore its
relatively quiet at home compared to campus. Ironically, the library is the WORSE
place to study. People can be so inconsiderate at times, they do not understand the concept
of a library. Library is suppose to be a place of silence, peace and productivity. But some
people just screw it up and talk as they please. Why dont they bring their discussions
elsewhere? Why cant they do it in their own homes? The only reason why people come
to the library is to get away from the hustle and bustle of their homes. Not bring it with
them. Imbecilic vegetables..

Which led me to the third variable which I have taken for granted of late, silence. Silence
for me has one of the utmost significance in my lifestyle. Infact, Im sure it applies to
most. Silence facilitates thinking, enables rest and clears the mind cluttured unwanted
thoughts accumulated during the day. Without some silence during each day, I wouldnt
even be able to reflect of the things I have done or achieved. Silence is like the pause
button in my game of life. It enables me to think of where I currently stand, updates me
with what has changed within and around me. In layman's terms it allows me to stop and
think for abit. The reason why I have taken this for granted of late is due to the speed
of this semester. I have wasted so much of time infront of the computer on games and
assignments that I totally lost sight of whats going on. I didnt take the time to reflect,
I didnt take time to stop myself. With all the noise from the computer and the
people and places I surrounded myself with I didnt have any room for silence. I look
at where I stand now and I see exams just merely hours away and I dont feel any
sense of acomplishment this semester. Furtheremore the reality of going for my US work n
travel which I have long applied for hits me. I feel anxious. The thought of working
so far away for 3 months scares me abit. From excitement to fear. Lol. But its okay,
I just need to set my mind straight. I need my silence, my peace. That pretty much
sums it up. TIME>HOME>SILENCE. 3 very important things! Goodnight :)

Desiderata

My dad called me this morning to tell me about this poem which inspired him
during his university days. He told me how he had printed it out and pasted it
on his bedroom wall. It is certainly a good read, truly meaningful and inspiring.
The poem was written by a German descent American raised poet by the name
of Max Ehrmann in 1927. Enjoy
______________________________________________________________


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth and quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid the loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be grater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and lonliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

The appropriate use of the Hammer,Anvil and Stirrup

Earlier while going through my studies regarding counselling, a topic popped
out which focused on empathy. What exactly is empathy? Based on the book
it's:

When the counsellor is actively attending and receptive when the client is
expressing some aspect of his or her experiencing.
When the counsellor resonates to the directly or indirectly expresed aspects
of the client's experiencing.

It basically means that the counsellor must be able to take time and listen to
the client attentively. The counsellor must also try and intepret what the client
says and try to form an understanding and relate to their expressions mentally.
Regardless of how weird or maladaptive the statement or the behavior of the
client, the counsellor must have an unconditional understanding to why they behave
that way. For instance, a client states that she hates herself and feels the need
to engage in self injury. The counsellor is not to question the client regarding the
behavior nor is she allowed to judge the client. An understanding must be formed
for why the client behaves that way and the counsellor in turn will try and help the
client deal with the issue. Maybe the client was influenced by others, maybe the
client was depressed, maybe the client wanted attention or maybe the client was
suicidal. At this point, the counsellor must put herself in her client's shoes.

Upon reading that section, I began to question my own empathy. It is difficult in a
sense to be empathetic or understanding towards the behaviors of others, expecially
when they deviate severly from the norm. In a world filled with prejudice and
discrimination it is fairly simple to make judgements of people for what they do,
but it takes considerable time and effort to stop for a moment and put yourself
in the judged individual's shoes and form an understanding of their actions. When
our family and friends hurt us or make us sad, we immediately attribute their
behavior to bad intentions and their flawed predispositions (internal reasons).
But sometimes, the cause of people's behavior maybe due to external reasons.
For example:

Your father comes home late and scolds you for not apparent reason. You attribute
his behavior to internal reasons such as short temperedness. But it may infact be
caused by a bad day at work, stuck in a traffic jam or had to deal with difficult people
(external reasons).

You read in the newspaper that this woman was robbed. You attribute the robber's
behavior to aggression, greed and maybe even malice. But it may, maybe the fact is that
the robber had kids to feed? A sick and dying parent to treat? and needed a desperate
solution

One extreme example was cited in a book I once read. The US military managed to
capture some Alqueda suicide bombers and had a few psychologists to question them. To
make an understanding of their behavior. The psychologists had expected the bombers
to be psychotic and deranged individuals. But upon closer inspection, they were timid
and soft spoken people. Antisocial individuals who were outcasts of their society and
were falsely promised that they fought for a cause and were to receive a divine reward.

Truly, with situations like those, it proves to be difficult to be empathetic. But situations
need not always be so hard. Sometimes all our family and friends need is a listening ear,
or some form of understanding on your part. Sometimes the people who care for us most
may hurt us due to external reasons. If it were to be for something internal, it just simply
means that they are not worth our time to begin with. I must confess that sometimes I
may not be the most empathetic of people. I tend to be quick tempered and make quick
and harsh judgements before reasoning with others. For that I apologize my friends :)
Goodnight!

Andrea

On some nights, I dream of you..
But the dreams are never lucid..
These blurred visions of you, somehow always taken
away from me by morning amnesia..
I can never recall what transpired during my sleepy stupor..
The only thing I remember is the sound of your faded scream
calling my name before I awoke..
Due to the haziness of the dream,
I can only hear the last syllable of my name being called..
The voice so mellow and yet so strong, like the sound of muffled thunder on a cloudy day..

I can recall however, your silhouette..
The slenderness of a vixen, with long and wavy hair
that flowed in the gentle breeze like an oak tree in a hurricane..
Your long jet black locks, smell like dessert flowers..
If the scent of your hair was visible to the gullible eye, it would be the colour of violet..
Wafting as you walk, leaving a trail of brilliant violet nothern lightish waves as you pass..
What a magnificent creature you are,
but when I look into your visage,
I only see darkness...
But within that darkness emerge two vermillion red eyes looking back at me..
Eyes so intense like the infinite number of sunrises and sundowns I wish to gaze with you..

You extend your slender arms towards me,
so fair like the rarest of pearls..
I can barely breathe as your gentle delicate hands close in..
With a swift but gentle stroke..
You line the back of your smooth satin fingers from my cheekbone,
down to the side of my neck..
Then I felt it..
A pulse, almost like an exaggerated heartbeat..
An unimaginable force of euphoria, searing across every fibre of my mortal body..

I must have been touched by an Angel...
But what I felt was no Angel..
What I felt was strong..
So strong no one could compare to you, my love..
my Mona Lisa,
my Cleopetra,
my Anastasia,
my Juliet,
my Eve,
my Queen,
my Aphrodite,
my Goddess....

I have yet to meet you my dear..
I have yet to feel your velvety embrace..
Only fate will decide when we will cross paths..
For now, till then my dear..
I'll wait for you in the dark,
or in vain..

Glow with the Flow

I believe that humans are one of the most complex creatures that roam our earth.
The complexity lies not in the physical traits, but the psychological attributes of
humans. How is it that we are all complex? Well take it in for example that it is
natural that we enjoy being happy and we like it when things go well. We like it
when life is easy and we like it when things go our way. But Im sure you heard of
the statement "when things go too well". Strange isnt it that things can go "too well"?

Why is it that there can be an excess of something good? Shouldnt good things be
wanted in an infinite manner? It is so strange that we can have too much of a good
thing. Why is it that things can go "too well". First of all, when things go too well,
life would lack excitement. No? If things always went your way, you always got
what you want, people treat you the way you want and you do whatever you want.
Seems nice at first, but after awhile it doesnt seem tempting. Wrong? First of all,
there are no challenges, there are no obstacles and there is no meaning to your
existence because you dont do SHIT to get what you want.

Well, here comes the complex part. Most of us have food to eat, family, friends and
a place to sleep at night. But most of us complain, its not good enough. We complain
about all the trivial insignificant things in life. My phone is outdated, Im broke, my
significant other is an ass, my parents are naggy, my results is shit, my housemate is
smelly and bla bla bla. Think about it, there are more important life dependent things
that other less fortunate people out there have to think about and here we are stuffing
our faces with food and complain that it does not taste "nice". When things get better,
our expectations increase as well. Its just human nature to want more and to constantly
complain. We are all just so complex, I wonder if there is actually a limit to what we
demand. Even the riches people have shit to complain about, and they have everything!

Another complexity of humankind is our tendency to hold on to pain. Our life is revolved
around constantly seeking joy and gratification, but it is the painful and negative memories
that we remember. It is so easy for us to recall bad memories we had such as breakups,
family problems, deaths and failures, but so hard to recall happy memories. Im not saying
that we do not recall good things at all, Im just saying that bad things just pop into our
head and stay there. When we judge someone, it is so easy for his negative traits to
outweigh his positive traits. We remember more of what he/she did to hurt you than what
he/she did to make you smile.

It is just in our nature to want pain and sorrow. Why else do we bother watching sad
dramas or horror movies? How can our everyday friends enjoy watching SAW? Im not
saying that it is wrong, but Im just curious, why do we enjoy such things? Why do we
find sitting down for hours gossiping about people *hehe* so joyous? Do you spend
hours praising and talking good about somebody? If you had to sit through a conversation
which lasted for hours listening about how this fellow is so smart and so handsome, would
you? Or would you prefer to talk about this bitch with a scandal? To be honest, Ill take
the latter.

I believe that we humans have alot to learn and alot to pass down before its too late. Life
is whatever you make of it. If you want pain, you get pain. If you want love you get love.
It is as easy as that, no strings attached. When somebody makes you angry, and you hold
on to it, then you are letting him win. Because you acknowledge your anger and because
you think about that person, you are just letting him make you angry and angry again.
In a way, you lose out while he is out there glad that he made you feel this way. Let there
be no attachment to hate and pain. If someone pisses you off, just forgive him and move on.
If he does not learn his lesson he is not your friend. So the next time something negative
comes your way, give it your warmest and widest smile and tell it to get the f**k off.
No attachments =)

When Promises Were Made Out Of Thin Air

Every being is capable of making promises. Whether it is to our family, friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, aunty, uncle or even our pet dog, promises used to hold on to something so crucial and vital that one would bet his or her life trying to fulfill it. It maybe a simple promise to get the chores done, or promise to protect someone, fulfilling the promise was something so great that it influences the integrity of a person.

Nowadays, the word promise means giving someone hope, and you hoping that the person forgets what you promised them. Sad to say i am one of those person in a particular way. I always forget what i promised. And its so embarrassing sometimes. One of my major flaws is promising time. Time is something so cheap yet expensive. Its priceless but once its gone you never get it back. Unless i live by a clock, being able to keep up with time is something seemingly impossible to me.

i promise to wake up by 9 to start my assignment/ attend exam/ do chores/ etc, i woke up at 11 the next day feeling like a complete failure/ disappointed.

People do use the word promise like some form of space filler like the word "errr". Its one of those condiments in a sentence which gives hope, enlightens someone heart.

Example: I might bring you out on a date

I PROMISE to bring you out on a date.

Refering to the sentence above, do you spot the difference?

So the moral of the story is, hold on to your promise, never give false promise and hope.

Be Prepared

CNY hs ended and those who ate alot of cookies are in delima of facing Freaking Awesome Triglyceride. YEAH, the season of losing weight is here. Actually come to think of it, it always have been this time of the year that i come to realize that i ate a little too much during the festive season. Why? See, Xmas is in December when we really started the eating binge. This continued through January where people send their love by a stack of fruitcake. Why waste the fruitcake. AND the fruitcake was most prolly made in surplus during Xmas, So... yeah...

Just when you know that the festive season is at a pause during Mid January, your self control is still on vacation somewhere in Bora Bora, and her stupid, annoying mother in law, the guilty conscience is always lingering nearby. So in order to satisfy her, you eat more instead.

Just when your self realization came back and haunt the crap out of you, CNY is here. So cant help it la. you just continue eating. Once the tempting 2 weeks are over, you are left with the aftermath (leafover cookies) which is always in the kitchen. I try not to enter, but the imaginary flavor wafting through the air is over-bearing.

Therefore be prepared to endure another 2 or more torturous weeks of over indulgence.

Once again, assignments flood our work desk. We are in our 2nd week and already, there is an assignmentdue on the 3rd week. WTFacebook! lets start now and sing later :)

Chinese New Year

Cookies and goodies stray over the coffee table. No one was looking. Everyone was busy fishing out blue, red and green notes. Busy chatter over who gets the lucky 21 and who don't. Those who were losing at the gambling table subsequently lose themselves at the coffee table. Stumbling into gluttony, thinking over the lost fortune.

Yes, its Chinese New Year again. Btw, i dont really get the we have to gamble every CNY. Why is there an urgency. Maybe its a tradition. Maybe its luck testing? ah, the joy of winning. The adrenaline of betting more. The upside down smile when all is lost.

As a friendly reminder, assignments are piling up again. Workloads are doubled. Results are out. Everything seems bleak right. On the brighter side, 2012 is near woohoo! Choi!

How was the Chinese New Year harvest this year? Good bad? no matter what, festive seasons are here so that we can let go of our past, our stress and get together with our loved ones and celebrate. That reminds me, we haven lo sang this year. lets do it this thursday? agree? deal? ok then!