Cats and Rats

According to the Chinese 12 Zodiac mythological story, one day Buddha invited the animals to participate in a race, first twelve animals to reach the sky palace will be granted a position on the Chinese Zodiac calendar in the order which they completed the race. Cat and Rat were inseparable good friends, so they decided to collaborate. However, upon the finishing line, rat outsmarts cat and kicks him off the track. That is why cat never appear on the Chinese Zodiac calendar. That is also why cat and rat are enemies.

(They were enemies)

Like Sun rises in the east and sets in the west, eagles hunt little chicks, cats catch rats and police catch thieves are simple principles I did not doubt as a kid when I was taught in preschool education. (Anyway I’m not sure if the syllabus for preschool now has changed) In the last decade, these theories may be unmistakable and no one could doubt them. Over time, these theories may not be true anymore. Let’s take cats catch rats and police catch thieves as example.

During my time (the 1990s), cats seemed to be stronger animals compared to rats. Whether by size or by strength, cats sure have more advantages compared to ugly little rats. When I was young, the principle about cats catch rats was proven as I often see cats with rats dangling from their mouths. (In reality as well as in fictitious cartoon Tom and Jerry)

Police catch thieves, it’s a common sense. During Japanese times, which of the defenseless civilians was not afraid of the Japanese army/police? Even the most stubborn and rebellious communists had to surrender under pressure of the British police. And so, which of the thieves with only parangs during that era was not afraid of police armed with guns and bullets? Anyway, there is no need to mention as it is police’s responsibility to maintain orders, prevent and detect crimes as well as to enforce the laws.

Now (the 2000s), have things ever changed since? Yes! In this competing world, everyone struggles for a living. Not only Cats (police) and Rats (Thieves) but dogs (the people) too. Rats (Thieves) being so cunning, hateful and dirty struggle the most among the other two as they are hated by the society. Compliment to their smartness, trickiness and intelligence, they manage to survive till today.

You may ask, “Hey, what are the cats doing? Aren’t they supposed to catch all the rats?” Yup, it may be the responsibility of cats to catch rats, but if you still remember 12 Zodiac story and cartoon “Tom and Jerry”, rats in both stories are comparatively smarter than the cats; Jerry always the one who tricks and fools Tom. So, do you still think we can count on the cats?

(Who is smarter?)

Moreover, the competitiveness during globalization has forced the rats to become more adaptive and protective. They increase in size; they reproduce rapidly and in a huge quantity. Their intelligence too has increased. Whereas for the “house cats”, do nothing but play with wool ball, lose their ability to capture rats. They are spoiled, fat and lazy. With their relatively low rate of reproduction, they are not only inefficient but insufficient in fighting rats.

(Cats only play with wool ball =.=)

Nowadays, size of rats is almost as huge as cats, they are no longer afraid of cats. Cats (police) have claws (guns), rats (thieves) nowadays too have their teeth sharpen (more advanced weapon). Even the cats may have to surrender.

(Cat surrender)

Rats now gang up to form a big community of gangsters aka Kongsi Gelap. They are everywhere which you can think of, drains, rubbish dump, at the street etc. Some of them go into houses [robbers], some of them spread diseases [Drug dealers], some rats have lots food, they become “food suppliers” [Loan Shark], some rats involve in human-trafficking, prostitution business etc. According to Tenaganita coordinator Aegile Fernandez, Malaysia was considered a country of origin, transit and destination for child trafficking. Anyway, to avoid detection, as they deal with black money, they do all kinds of legal business to “bleach” their black money.

(A gang of rats)

Since our security and public order has gone red light, the dogs (people) of course won’t just keep quiet. Dogs pressure cats to catch rats. However, due to their inefficiency and timidity, they can’t do anything productive. Therefore, cats decided to deal with the rats; after so many centuries they decided to collaborate again, put away their hatred since the last painful 12 zodiac incident.

(A rat climbed over a cat's head)

Below is their negotiation:

Big Rat: Hey cat, I understand your situation, you guys been receiving a lot pressure regarding this and that. If we really have to go hard, neither of us will benefit.

Big Cat: Yes Yes Yes Boss, I know I know, I’ll listen to you, but you have to help me too, I really receive a lot pressure from the dogs regarding our national security and public order. =( So macam mana??

Big Rat: Okay, don’t worry k, cool, here’s the deal. Only 3 simple conditions you can save your ass. First, you play your wool ball, I do my business, you don’t disturb me, I don’t disturb you. Deal?

Big Cat: Of course, No problem boss.

Big Rat: Second! If you cats really need to have operation to track us and expected to get something to show the dogs that you cats are still functioning, we’ll cooperate, we give you what you want, like cocain, ecstasy, K-tamin, weapons or whatever, all these can come with a few scapegoats as you wish. But, after showing the press about your success in tracking down the drugs or whatever, return to us the goods and we’ll pay you what you deserve. Deal?

Big Cat: Okay okay, baiklah tu, sama sama kita cari makan ma. Deal.

Big Rat: Third, you don’t play play with me, if I say I never want to see you again, I mean it. I’ll make sure you’re gone by the end of the day. [Rats are more powerful now >.<]

Big Cat: Yes Boss, I where dare to play … I’ll listen to your order boss. (sticking out its tongue like puppies)

Since cats accepted the deal, cats and rats are no longer enemies, they are now inseparable friends again. Cats don't catch rats anymore, so practically they really have nothing much meaningful to do already. However, somehow they will still go on the street and …. Refer to the picture below… =)

(Minta duit kopi aka ask for money)

For the dogs, I wish you good luck. You might need to consider learning taekwondo to protect yourself. It might not be a good idea counting on the cats.

It's just a loooooooooooooooong joke about cats and rats, hope you enjoyed. =P