Terminology

Throughout the journeys which I have partook in my life, I have come to
realize that my life changing journeys have always began, and in some cases
ended in airports. Whenever I walk into the Penang airport, certain familiar
feelings grip me as I go through usual airport procedures such as checks ins
and what not. Such as the feeling I first had when I was to study in my
secondary school in Seremban area. I didnt exactly flew there when I started,
but it was the time I had to fly alone there after a short holiday. I felt sad
that I had to leave home. I felt nervous as well as there were so many new
challenges and obstacles ahead of me. I had never been away from home
for so long. But it was a good experience for me as it had completely changed
my life for the better. I still remember the day I took a flight back to Penang
for good after finishing secondary school. I felt sad as I parted ways with a
good friend who dropped me off at the airport.

Not long after that, I was back in the airport flying off to enrole into Nottingham.
I didnt have the anxious feeling of being alone in the air as I did last time. But I did
however feel nervous of what lies ahead of me. Every semester is different with its
own ratio of sweetness and bitterness. Every time I took a flight at the beginning of
the semester, I felt excited and nervous at the same time of whats in store for me.
However, after the end of the semester I always fly away from this place with a heavy
heart. Despite the isolation of this place, I have made many good friends and have
lost some in the process as well.

Being in the airport also reminds me of times when I have to send friends off to pursue
their studies abroad. Friends leaving in a way is not a mark of a new journey in life, but a
continuity of the journey without them, which poses challenges as well. I dont have many
friends. Therefore which each one flying off is like a huge piece of me taken away. Times
can be so lonely and hard without them but feelings must be temporarily put aside for
adaptation and assimilation to take place. When friends fly off, I feel sad as well as it may
be the last time I see them as who they were. Overtime, friends usually change and it may
not always be for the good. Long absences make conversations awkward and short.

Tomorrow, I shall be heading to the airport once again. Another journey which may
potentially change who I am and hopefully shape me into a better person. The same nervous
feeling runs in my stomach as I type this post out. I cant help but be nervous and excited
at the same time of whats ahead of me. But as always, I leave with a heavy heart. It is hard
for me to leave my family and friends. But with my departure to another land will only
make me appreciate them more. Ill miss u guys. =(

oh btw, Ill diligently update the ongoings of my adventure here. yay :D

Iphone4 Games

During this exam period, I find myself pretty lifeless.. I go out less and I've been hanging On to my phone day and night doing nothing.

I enter into my facebook account, look around for interesting post, finds nothing interesting, exit from facebook.

Then I played with my "coin dozer", from 40 coins and no gifts all the way to 3000+ coins and complete set of gifts. Got bored of it, stop playing with it.

I complete the whole trial set for "cut the rope" with 3 stars for all. And there's nothing exciting about the game anymore once you've completed them all.

Then I moved on to "Katy Perry Revenge", played till i reach 100 percent for e.t. And firework, then stop playing.

Oh, then I played "we doodle" with a couple of friends that also have a smart phone. I draw and they guess and vice versa. Quite similar to "guess the scatch" from facebook actually.. Oh and now I guess all my friends are bored of it too. So everyone stopped playing with "we doodle".

And recently, ive been playing with I basket. It's actually a virtual basketball game. Quite addictive actually. Especially when someone beats your highscore. I started off with 4000 points and I thought that was very good already. Then one of my friend got 6000 plus and I wasnt satisfied with my score so I kept playing until I got 8000+ points. Satisfied much, until another friend got 9000+ points. Blehhh.. That suddenly made me more competitive than before! I played a couple more times, until! I got, 14100 points! Which is actually top 400 in the worldwide rank.. Hahah. Not bad ah.. But after I got that score, I stopped playing cuz no one else from my circle of friends beat my score yet. Hehe..

And today, I played with minesweeper through my iphone and managed to complete it, marking the right bomb spot in 53 second! That's actually an achievement cuz it's not easy to play minesweeper through iphone. Lol. Gotta scroll left and right, up and down.. I beat my own highscore of 57. Haha.

And i've decided to delete all my games. Cuz it's getting boring. It's a good way of stress relief and somehow such boring game becomes interesting when ure studying for exams.. Hmm.. I'm going to jailbreak my
Iphone soon. For more games..

Oh and I've been practising the guitar chords for Avril Lavigne "darlin'" and "everybody hurts". Listen to it. Someday ill play it for pangeelapongers :D

Okay, have fun reading my bragging post. I just feel like bragging out of a sudden.. And weee, i just blogged with my iphone. Too bad i cant upload pix through iphone4, cuz i have proves for my highscore. :p

:)

Untitled

Looking at Pangeelapong blog, suddenly I feel I really have strong affection towards it,

though not much updates lately...

Perhaps our readers might also have forgotten or stop reading it, partially because there is nothing much new..

But from time to time I'll still look back at the older posts and have a good laugh myself... there were so many interesting events/incidents happened in the past which, whenever you read back you feel stupid yet lively and glad that life actually brings us lots great memories. Sweet, sour, bitter.... Life is actually a good chef that makes our daily meal with all kinds of tastes... Like it or not, we have to eat to live.. :)

Anyway, today May 22, good weather out there, no judgement day, no nothing..
Many people might think... cheh, it's just another false prediction, screw it and I continue to live my life. They might think that all these doomsday shits are fake and tend to continue taking earth for granted.

I personally believe judgement day may come if humans continue exploiting the earth. One thing we must know that earth is not created just for us, human. Anyway, I just hope that the day doesn't come so soon..

Life is so imperfect yet beautiful, why waste time complaining about small little imperfect things in life when we can just easily laugh it off.. :DD

The Black Swan

Yesterday I had the strangest dream. I dreamt about my dream girl. I know, I know, how
cliche you say, but mind you she is a real breathing person with the ability to defecate just
like anyone else. LOL JK. Ironically, yesterday she was literally my dream girl. The strange
thing about this dream was that it felt real, it was so vivid and I could almost remember
every detail. Unlike most dreams which you view yourself in third person, mine was in
first person and it felt like I was just there.

It started out with us having lunch like we used to alot back then, we were smiling and
laughing as always. We started holding hands from across the table and Im not sure what
transpired, but within moments she was already in my arms. It felt so real, I have never
made much physical contact with her. I was thinking to myself within my dream, wow,
the girl that I have always longed for, the one, was finally in my arms. I felt that I was
never going to ever let go. It felt real, but deep down I know it was something that will
never happen, or atleast naively I wish it did. It was then I realised that I was dreaming.
I was lucid dreaming for awhile. Trying to savour the moment that never existed. I felt that
I didnt want to ever wake up. I just wanted to die in her arms...

When I woke, I was in a daze. It felt strange because most of my dreams are random, and
rarely ever made sense. This dream was so direct, so straight forward and so clear. For all
of you who would question my pervertism, I would like to say that in my dream we never
kissed nor did anything erotic. I was very close to this girl once, I guess I screwed things up.
She has someone of her own, but we are still friends :) Im not emo or anything, just wanna
share an interesting experience.

Darkness

During this exam period, I have come to realize alot of things I tend to take for
granted. It started with a chain of events, almost like a cycle. Well first off, I felt
that I did not fully utilize the time I had. The time table for this semester was
actually really great! I only had classes for 3 days a week and 4 days for assignments.
However, I felt that I did not spend them wisely. I spent most of those 4 days
fooling around and playing games. I didnt even take time to go out or socialize with
my friends much. When assignment period came, everything was in a snail's pace.
I barely even wrote a hundred words a day and I continued squandering my time.
I was very last minute and I did my assignments to the last hour; not something
I would do if it were last semester. I didnt even have time to proof read. I was
shocked with results I got, but of course Im appreciative.

When the exam period came(and still occuring currently), I wasted my time too.
Only two papers have passed and Im already filled with abit of regret. The thing
is that I waste my time during the day and study till late. However, lately there is
some electrical problem in my house. The electricity gets all fucked up at night and
the power trips frequently. This had been very counterproductive to my studies as
I had to walk in total darkness into the store room and turn the power back on only
to have it trip again in a few minutes. Because of this, I had to go to campus to study.
This led me to my second realization. I took my home for granted.

In campus, there is no proper place for me to study. What pisses me off is firstly the
temperature. The temperature is always at both extremes of the spectrum. Its either
to freaking cold or extremely warm. At home here, I just sit under the fan with a few
open windows letting the night air in and the temperature is perfect! Furthermore its
relatively quiet at home compared to campus. Ironically, the library is the WORSE
place to study. People can be so inconsiderate at times, they do not understand the concept
of a library. Library is suppose to be a place of silence, peace and productivity. But some
people just screw it up and talk as they please. Why dont they bring their discussions
elsewhere? Why cant they do it in their own homes? The only reason why people come
to the library is to get away from the hustle and bustle of their homes. Not bring it with
them. Imbecilic vegetables..

Which led me to the third variable which I have taken for granted of late, silence. Silence
for me has one of the utmost significance in my lifestyle. Infact, Im sure it applies to
most. Silence facilitates thinking, enables rest and clears the mind cluttured unwanted
thoughts accumulated during the day. Without some silence during each day, I wouldnt
even be able to reflect of the things I have done or achieved. Silence is like the pause
button in my game of life. It enables me to think of where I currently stand, updates me
with what has changed within and around me. In layman's terms it allows me to stop and
think for abit. The reason why I have taken this for granted of late is due to the speed
of this semester. I have wasted so much of time infront of the computer on games and
assignments that I totally lost sight of whats going on. I didnt take the time to reflect,
I didnt take time to stop myself. With all the noise from the computer and the
people and places I surrounded myself with I didnt have any room for silence. I look
at where I stand now and I see exams just merely hours away and I dont feel any
sense of acomplishment this semester. Furtheremore the reality of going for my US work n
travel which I have long applied for hits me. I feel anxious. The thought of working
so far away for 3 months scares me abit. From excitement to fear. Lol. But its okay,
I just need to set my mind straight. I need my silence, my peace. That pretty much
sums it up. TIME>HOME>SILENCE. 3 very important things! Goodnight :)

Desiderata

My dad called me this morning to tell me about this poem which inspired him
during his university days. He told me how he had printed it out and pasted it
on his bedroom wall. It is certainly a good read, truly meaningful and inspiring.
The poem was written by a German descent American raised poet by the name
of Max Ehrmann in 1927. Enjoy
______________________________________________________________


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth and quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid the loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be grater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and lonliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata