Thursday, July 2, 2009

What men don't say, but women need to know.

I hope this title doesn’t make me sound as though I’m a sexist. I’ll try to be as neutral as possible.

Undeniably, today, girls are also capable of doing what the boys are capable of, unlike during the age of Dinosaurs where women only stay home and breast-feed their children. Today, girls are constantly fighting/changing/learning/improving to put an “equal” sign between guys and girls. Undoubtedly, they are quite successful; somehow I would say that the girls already go beyond the ability of guys in many ways. However, an “equal” sign still yet to be put in between guys and girls for we differ biologically, not only that, scientifically, our brains think differently maybe because of the presence of testosterone in men and estrogen in women. Nevertheless, God has made boy and girl the only perfect combination that can produce offspring, not boy-boy or girl-girl. Nonetheless, I still think boy-boy or girl-girl is a good idea because at least they are of the same kind and there are many resemblances in the sense of behavior, attitude, and physical. I’m not promoting people to go against nature and who am I to say which and which is natural and which and which is not as this is really debatable and may get my ass into trouble. Anyway I still think God is right when he created Adam and Eve as a pair. Though He sure know they are different in many ways, but he is also certain that with tolerance, communication, understanding, mutual help (like the man hunts and woman stitches/cooks), they can mutually make a perfect couple.

Even so, building/holding/strengthening a relationship is not as easy as how you say “we must tolerate, we don’t hide feelings, I love you!” or whatsoever. How many times when you say you want tolerate with your boyfriend and you really do? How many times you tell your love partner you won’t hide feelings and you really don’t? Not always seriously. As I said earlier, men and women are totally different the way they think, so the only way to understand the opposite sex is through communication. If you (girls) hide your feeling and accumulate problems within yourself, guys are always too dumb to notice; as a result your bottle of anger will be bottled up and eventually burst. Dangerous… So learn how to keep an empty bottle. Same goes to guys actually.

Sometimes during a quarrel, neither the boy nor the girl will first admit his/her mistake for both has their own ego. Preferably, they will blame each other for not being understanding enough. Understand what? What he/she needs to know you got to say it out. Isn’t it a bit ridiculous when you don’t say and you expect your partner to know/understand? Anyway, saying it out may be easy, but you too need to consider the way you say it so that you won’t sound like a crazy person complaining about everything you’re not satisfied with. Don’t lose your temper! cause when you lost your temper, you hardly make yourself sound reasonable and your points are hardly acceptable. You need to stay cool and be mindful of the way you talk, your tone, your eye contact and so on, the art of talking with love partner is something I think people should learn to always create a win-win situation in any arguments.

Girls, you have to understand that guys are comparatively more aggressive ever since the time of Gengkhis Khan or even earlier, so guys’ temper is somehow in the gene, girls you sometimes have to bear with it; however that doesn’t give an excuse for the guys to become uncontrollably hot-tempered/violent/rude/unreasonable. Sometimes you girls too have your temper and it can be uncontrollable at times. However during a quarrel, is not who raises his/her voice first that matter, what matters is the ability/willingness to unconditionally tolerate with each other. Why do I say “unconditionally”? This is because if you tolerate yet you’re not satisfied, what’s the point? If you’re able to tolerate among friends, then why can’t you tolerate with your lover? After all, your lover should always be above all your friends.

Girls, you must know, no one is perfect in this world, so don’t keep your expectation too high. You just need a boyfriend who loves you truly. You don’t need a superman who can fly you around. You don’t necessarily need a boyfriend who looks like Tom Cruise/Brad Pitt either. You also don’t need a boyfriend who can serve as an ATM machine to let you squander all you want. Think of why you fell in love with him at the first place, besides the trick played by hormone phenlyethylamine (PEA) that gives butterflies to fall in love, what exactly about him that attracted you? What do you think is so good about this guy? That’s it, that’s the best you should expect from him, in time to come, you shouldn’t expect more like for example forcing him into a plastic surgery to get a higher nose or forcing him to become what you want him to be or other unreasonable requests. Same goes to guys. (It’s not applicable if you’re a gold digger instead of a boyfriend/girlfriend)

Girls, most boyfriends at our age have no income, neither they have billionaire father. So, don’t expect expensive present on every single occasions, if you love him, you won’t want him to impress you at the same time depress his wallet. Right? When comes to deciding the restaurant for breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper, if it’s not too difficult, girls, you should give some suggestions too instead of letting guys make all the decisions. Since normally guys will grab the bill and pay, if you plan to accept the treat, suggest a restaurant which is fabulous yet inexpensive. That’s how it should be, unless you’re a gold digger. For guys, it’s not necessary for you to bring your girlfriend to a high class restaurant for a normal dinner so that you can impress her with your platinum card when you settle the bill. It’s not like by the end of the day you’re the one who’ll settle the credit card bill.

Whatever it is, basically this is not only about what women need to know but in fact men too need to know. I understand that all relationships go through peaks and troughs, you might get a little bored at times but always remember to have a little patience, passion and enthusiasm for life together. Hereby, I wish all couples stay blissful and happy forever.


Do check out what my buddy had to say too @ http://mystrangerthanparadise.blogspot.com/

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